Hiring Private Detective:
It is 5:03 a.m. and I have been in the B-Hive all night/morning. All I can think about is how I am pretty sure my professors come together and purposely put all my exams around the same time. Whether they discuss it over a poker game or they have some underground lair, I am not sure, but one of these days I will catch them in the act of conspiring against me.
I had an exam Monday, a five-page paper due Tuesday, two exams today (Thursday) and next week is not looking much better. Exam on Monday, another on Tuesday and to cap it off, a case and a paper due on Friday at the same time that I am trying to get ready for this Mr. McCombs pageant thing I signed up for. I know I am not alone and that there are students all across this campus going through similar situations, and believe me, I sympathize with you.
So, I am in the market for a private detective who can snoop around and get to the bottom of this plot against all of us students. The freedom is yours to go about your ways however you see fit. Tapping phone lines, dumpster diving for shredded documents, listening in on conversations behind closed doors . . . do what it takes! I must know if this is mere coincidence or if this is some big joke where the professors assemble and place bets on which student they can get to break down first.
P.S. If you get caught, we never had this conversation, and we never met…you got that?