Where does California come into the picture? Justified question. As I sat thinking about what to write next, I spoke with our blog moderator and he suggested, “Well, why don’t you interview your husband and see what he thinks about being away, about your time in the program, etc.” My first reaction was – would anyone want to read that? Why would anyone want to read about our experience? But as soon as I asked my question, the answer seemed kind of obvious. Joining the course and staying away from your spouse is not the easiest thing to do and is a big decision for everyone (or maybe almost everyone). Right before making that decision, there are hundreds of questions and doubts in mind, and rightly so.
Being away from your spouse for two years requires a lot of everything – patience, courage, strength, effort, determination and extreme levels of understanding. It enforces a certain level of almost cold-heartedness (you are forced to make choices and you can’t always be there with your spouse when you want). To imagine that you have shared those two years only partly, that you see snapshots of their life, snippets, small pieces. You see them for a weekend and whoosh – they are not there for the next three. Easier said than done? No, it’s not even easily said. True, we jointly take that decision; it’s for a better future for both; it’s a short amount of time (in the grand scheme of things – yes); we see each other every few weeks; it makes the relation even stronger; yeah, all that is true. Yet, it is challenging and there is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ or ‘cookie-cutter’ solution for this.
At this point I can clearly see many different categories of classification of opinions – men vs. women or positives vs. negatives. But let’s face it, both have to deal with challenges. And while I can write my longest blog ever about this, I decided to go ahead with what our blog moderator suggested and I interviewed my husband in California (over the phone of course and hence straight from California). My better half was not very enthusiastic about it but ‘please, please, please’ in texts and more ‘please, please, please’ over the phone got the job done. Here’s what he thinks, unabridged –
What do you think about your wife getting an MBA?
I wanted her to get an MBA because it was a good – great – decision for both of us.
How do you think it has affected you/your relationship?
It has not affected our relationship in any negative way. If anything, we understand each other even better now.
How do you deal with being away from her?
Ummmmmm…I’ll have to think about this one. Can I answer this question later?
What would you suggest to those who have to deal with a long distance marriage to pursue further studies?
Time flies. It’ll be over soon. I would definitely listen to what they have to say. That’s all they need many times and helps them a lot.
How do you deal with being away from her?
That was all I was able to extract from him. And that’s exactly the reason why I blog, he doesn’t!
Truth be told, us human beings are a very resilient species and we simply learn to deal with it. Those of us in school, we have to deal with assignments, networking events, exams, classes, and if we have enough time, we catch up on our sleep. Our working spouses, they have to deal with finances, their jobs, all that socializing they’d been thinking about doing, exercising, paying bills, traveling to see us, speaking with us over the phone, listening to our non-stop chatter about all the hard work, about our lack of sleep and how we hope to see them soon.
The first two semesters were over for me in a jiffy. I was happy when I could be with my better half during my internship. Then it was time for me to be at school and now in a few weeks as the third semester gets over, we’ll be together soon. The last semester, hopefully, will fly away too and we’ll be together again. Looking at what the value add is, though difficult, getting an MBA has definitely been a great experience for me. Would I do it all over again? Now, here, I’ll have to borrow an answer from my husband’s interview. Ummmmmmmm…I’ll have to think about this. Can I answer this question later?
(Hey, I already have my MBA, to be precise, I am already getting my MBA and it’ll be over soon. Why would I need to do it again? lol!)